To preface this entire article, I’d like to get one thing straight: dating is one of my favorite activities. And I don’t mean the single out-and-about romping around with a random new fling across the streets of Manhattan, although that is quite fun…
What I really love though is dating my friends, in the non-romantic/pure friendship sense. I love the occasional drink, museum visit, park reading during a sun-drenched afternoon with my pals. Dating is by far way more fun when you do it with your friends.
Why? Because of a list of reasons I could go on and on about.
To name a few…
You’re unapologetically yourself, unfiltered and all
They typically don’t care what you do together, as long as you’re together
The fireside chats you have until the wee hours of the morning are some of the best memories you’ll make, which I promise will carry you through the rough days
You can stuff your face with all the pizza and cheese dip that you want
They don’t suck at trivia, unless you both actually do, and then you suck at trivia together
They’re your people
That incredible new restaurant you’ve been dying to try? Take your closest girl pal who lives in Brooklyn. That new exhibit at the Guggenheim? Take your best guy pal who geeks out over art just as much as you do. The record shop on the west side you’ve been putting off going to? Call your mate and take them down to music memory lane. A new brewery? Bring your best friend turned roommate.
Sure, you could take a random Hinge date, but why not spend it with someone you actually like to spend more than just a few drinks with?
One of my most favorite activities that I do about once a month (which I ought to do more of but she lives in the Upper West and I’m in the East Village, so I blame it on our semi-long-distance New York relationship) is meet up with my dear friend Olivia. Occasionally it’s just us, and other times we link up with others, but catching up with her and venting about our current dramatics is something I look forward to.
She and I went to the University of Tennessee together where we spent many insanely long hours together at Hodges Library grueling over our campaigns class project. And let me tell you, if staying up together until 3am stressing over a project, periodically raiding the school store snack section doesn’t bond you, I don’t know what does.
Olivia spent the years following college bugging me to finally get my butt up to New York City, which she finally succeeded in almost two years ago to the day. My lunches, brunches, and occasional macaroni and cheese dinner dates at Beecher’s near Flatiron with her are some of my favorites.
The real reason why I love dating my friend Olivia, my old college pal, is that she’s known me long enough to call me on my bullshit. The woman is fearless when it comes to providing her authentic opinion on something and I respect her and our friendship for that.
Another example is my good friend Molly. Molly you see has been my pal since Greece in 2015. I’ve mentioned her in some of my past articles, but we unfortunately don’t get to romp around as much as we used to during our days in Greece. Although, now that we live closer to one another our trips are much more frequent. Molly and I always randomly call each other or FaceTime to quickly catch up, which turns into hour long conversations where we talk about just about anything under the sun.
She’s easily the most fun person I know, but also one of the kindest. Molly would give you the shirt off her back if you were cold, egg your ex-boyfriend’s car if he cheated on you, and hype you up with pictures of her adorable Frenchie Bleu if you’re feeling… blue.
Thus, any time one of our random FaceTime dates hits my calendar, I’m filled with so much happy. My cup literally spills over when I get to spend some time chatting with one of my best friends.
That all said, the thing I do want to talk about is how we tend to take advantage of the time we have with our friends, and we don’t put as much emphasis on the time we do actually spend with them. Having people in your life who quite frankly give a damn (thank you, Rhett Butler) is so precious, and even more rewarding than we realize.
My friend Sarah is a fiery, smiley, smart, ball of happiness. She has always been there for me in times of sadness, distress, and more. The woman is loyal, kind and knows how to throw down. Admittedly, I always find myself exhausted after our weekend reunions, but honestly it’s because I end up having so much fun spending hours on end with her and exploring new areas of my city or hers. She’s always down to do anything. Grab a drink? She’s down. Go to the park? She’s there. Run across town to go shop? Duh. Book a random flight to New York? She’s there tomorrow. Her adventurous (and ambitious) spirit inspires me.
Our friends, my friends, your friends... They’re all special to each of us in their own particular ways. Which is even more reason why we should date our friends more, and be a bit more intentional about it.
The other day my Grandmother showed me something written by my Grandfather that he wrote right before he passed away in 2009. In a part of the text, and do note that I’m paraphrasing here, he said “the friendships of your life make your life worth living.” And then he of course went on to say that his most precious friendship was with his wife, my grandmother, Pansy (or Pan as he called her). But it’s not the romance ode that resonated with me. It was the sheer importance of the wisdom of friendship that a mid-70 year old man wrote in his journal while on his deathbed. He wanted to instill the importance of friendship and how meaningful it is to live a long and fulfilling life.
So, if you get anything from reading this I hope it encourages you to call up your best mate and have a beer. Go date your friends, and date them hard.
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