Over the last year and eight months that I’ve lived in New York City, I’ve been on a solid amount of good and bad dates. Dates from Hinge, dates with friends of friends, dates with people I’ve met through advertising, and even dates with random guys who have approached me on the street.
And I’ve observed some tea that I’d love to share.
Let me preface all of this by saying I have no intention of discussing the personal details of the men I've met, so if you were hoping for some juicy gossip from my dating life, please look elsewhere.
(Or just ask, I really am an open book.)
So today, I’m going to focus this post on NYC Hinge and the types of men I’ve come across.
Hinge is the most popular dating app among my single friends these days. It’s easy to navigate, doesn’t get bogged down by ads, and has an incredibly clean interface. From an app perspective, I think it’s beautiful. I’ve had a Hinge profile off and on for a little over a year now, and I’ve met some pretty cool people through the dating profile service. But on the flip side, I’ve also met some pretty big red flag holders.
I like to keep my profile pretty light, pepper in some sarcasm to caption my photos, but I don’t include my last name, where I work, and definitely not my Instagram feed. My Instagram is already public, but I don’t really think it’s necessary for someone to have that much visibility to my life at first swipe. Some people like to do that though, so more power to them.
The thing I’ve learned about Hinge is that it is not for full-up conversations. It’s simply a doorway to get a (safe, covid-friendly) drink with the other human to see if you get along well enough to warrant a second date. And I personally prefer it that way. I don’t keep my notifications on for one of those reasons. I have no desire to spend all evening swiping left and right or chit-chatting with strangers. If you want to get a drink, great. If not, I’d rather spend my time working, painting, writing, or adventuring around the city.
Now, let's get to the fun part.
On the app, I’ve come across these top (5) personalities in New York City:
The Model “I’m more into the way I look than you” Guy
The Party “I’m just looking for a good time” Guy
The “I’m looking for a relationship” Guy
The Classic “My photos make me look artistic and impressive, but I might be a trust fund kid” Guy
The Sarcastic “I might be a witty writer, or a complete jerk” Guy
Don’t get me wrong, there are many, many more personalities I’ve come across on the app, but these are the top (5) that I’m dying to share. And just to be clear, these are also just my personalized opinions of the profiles I come across. This by no means is meant to put down these men, just gives you some insight as to what my judgment is of these personalities.
So, let’s start with Number 1: The Model “I’m more into the way I look than you” Guy
This is your classic, “I’ve just moved to the city and I’m trying to make it here” guy. He likely has tons of shirtless photos on his profile to let you know he has abs, and might sneak in a classic Zoolander “Blue Steel” smirk in a picture or two. He typically doesn’t put a lot of effort into his questions featured on his page, and his messages to you are insanely short.
Now, on to Number 2: The Party “I’m just looking for a good time” Guy
Of the profiles I’ve seen, this guy screams “I like to drink, visit the Hamptons, and I will probably blow you off for my friends at one point.” He’s usually grouped with 3-4 other guys in his photos, so you have a hard time pinpointing which one he is. He’s probably working in finance, investment banking, or some other corporate job on Wall Street. At least one of his photos features alcohol of some sort, and he might even show his family’s yacht. He likes to brag once he messages you, and makes a point to tell you about his house in the Hamptons.
For the next, let’s jump over to Number 3: The “I’m looking for a relationship” Guy
Now this my readers, is your nice guy. He shows at least one photo of his family, and might even show another with a dog. He includes all the profile “Virtues”, “Vices”, and “Vitals” ranging from religious beliefs to education level, and even as detailed as children preferences and marijuana stance. And yes, he even probably includes his Instagram feed. He’s upfront with what he wants when he messages you and usually puts in the effort to provide a sentence or two for his profile questions.
Second to last, Number 4: The Classic “My photos make me look artistic and impressive, but I might be a trust fund kid” Guy
Here you have your typical guy who has all sorts of stylized photos that typically insinuate that he’s from money, or has access to lots of premium things and people. He has at least one glamorous headshot on his profile, and his job description likely includes “freelance”, “aspiring”, “founder”, or simply doesn’t include a job at all. His messages to you are pretty surface level and probably suggests that you get a drink in Brooklyn, West Village, or SoHo.
And finally, Number 5: The Sarcastic “I might be a witty writer, or a complete jerk” Guy
This one is by far the most hit or miss. He likes to caption all his photos with a witty sentence or two and usually has at least one joke photo on his profile. The majority of the information on his profile is exaggerated, and he almost never shows photos with friends. He’s likely bored and isn’t looking for a serious relationship, but wouldn’t be completely opposed to finding one. He takes ages to message you back or immediately responds. There’s no in-between… and like I mentioned, either a complete hit or total miss.
Of the personalities above, I can also confidently say that my initial perception has been proven wrong from time to time. Sure, a picture and a profile are worth a thousand words, but nothing compares to the in-person impression that you receive from the other human.
Now, all these personalities above are just a glimpse into some of the people I’ve come across on the app. All of which, I’ve gone on at least one date with at one point or another, so I can confidently say each of those profile personalities match a real-life human personality of a guy I’ve met that lives here in the city.
And they’re not all bad personalities either. There are some really awesome people, and in fact, some of the personalities above really vibe well with certain gals.
I find it so compelling to see what people decide to feature on their profiles. We all usually want to put some form of our best selves on the app, and it’s so fascinating to see what people pick and choose to feature after you’ve met them for an in-person or video-chat first date.
Swiping on the app is also kind of fun. It’s interesting to see the different kinds of single, heterosexual men who are on the app in the city. I find it exciting to meet new people and get to know them. And I personally think that is the most fun part. Plus, a good drink here or there is always great.
To be fair, I personally am not looking for a relationship. I simply don’t want one right now. The reason I’m on Hinge these days is to meet people. Like I mentioned above, I thoroughly enjoy meeting new people and getting to know them. If something comes out of it, fantastic. If not, I've made a nice new friend.
The important thing I make sure is clear though, is that I am upfront with my intentions. I usually tell the guy on or after the first date, which usually consists of a casual round of drinks, that I’m really not looking for a serious relationship. Now, whether that evolves into something more or not, that’s for us to decide and navigate.
I’ve found that I respect guys more when they’re upfront on the first date and make it known what they’re looking for. Whether that be they are looking for a serious relationship or not, or simply just want a hookup. Don’t get me wrong though, the latter is absolutely not my cup of tea and I usually send them packing because that’s not something I’m looking for. But at the end of the day, I can totally respect that this is what they want because they’re being transparent.
Transparency is key. It’s also quite refreshing when someone is direct in telling you what they want.
You see, the entire point of the app is to get you to delete it, which is why so many people gravitate towards it. At the end of the day, everyone’s just looking for a good companion to enjoy time with. Whether you’re looking for that on a long-term, or short-term scale, that’s your choice. And whether that be on Hinge, or off Hinge, that choice is up to you, friend.
Now, what I would really LOVE though is an analysis of the female personalities that men see on Hinge. I obviously don’t have a look into the heterosexual, female profiles on the app. So I imagine my profile probably has its own judgment, and I welcome the criticism fully.
All that said, I hope you’ve enjoyed my perspective on the personalities of men I see on the app. It’s quite fun to write about, I do have to say.
So happy swiping, my friends.
(Also, just clarifying, I am in no way a paid partner of Hinge. This is simply my opinion-based analysis of my own personal experiences with men on the app.)
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